Tell me, girls, do you consider yourself the sweet, charming beauty who can pretty much snag any guy she ever wants, or are you “one of the guys,” the cute but tough chick who can’t, for the life of her, EVER catch the man she wants? If you are, in fact, the beautiful sweetness men sing arias for, then you’re the lovely Cosette.* But if you’re the one nestled in the couch with the rest of the boys playing Nazi Zombies or battling it out in Halo Live, laughing and swearing, and somehow always shoulder to shoulder with the one guy you’d die for, you are, unfortunately, the doomed chick Eponine.
I am an Eponine dreaming to be a Cosette. I have, for twenty years, had the unfortunate bad habit of falling madly for the guy who will ALWAYS put me in the friend zone. I can remember since I was five years old having obsessions and wishful-thinkings over a particular guy which would last a good amount of years. But instead of him responding back, I got the cannon in the stomach. This is what makes me Eponine. I just haven’t had the chance to sing a “Little Fall of Rain” as I pathetically die in my Dream Guy’s arms. I am not a girl who falls in love easily OR can jump from guy to guy. My feelings, sadly enough, seem to think loyalty will be rewarded even if the loyalty to whom it is given isn’t wanted. I can even name off the guys I had become a glowing idiot for: Mark Pritchard, 1st thru 4th grade; Paul Sims, 4th thru 10th grade (extremely pathetic); James Gastonguay (11th into first years of college).
After James, I had figured out I was stupid for letting myself attach to guys like that. These were also the guys who knew very well that I was crazy for them, but were more interested in punching me playfully in the arm rather than kissing me on the cheek. I wasn’t “chase” worthy, I suppose, because my feelings were too obvious. Since James, I told myself to never let a guy know that I like him too much.
However, I have slipped up in the past year. I have crushed on a few guys and let it be known, and LO AND BEHOLD, they lost interest AGAIN. The only time I’ve ever had success in catching a guy I liked was pretending I didn’t notice them. But that sucks, because as soon as I started to express my love for them, they run off, and to some better, sweet pretty girl named Cosette! as I take the gun shot to the gut once again.
I get a bad feeling I’ll be singing “On My Own” for a good chunk of time. Which, on one hand, isn’t all bad because of my focus on my career. But nobody wants to go it alone for too long. I could always request a character change and go for Lucy (Jekyll and Hyde slut) and hook up to get a fix. But that leads to craziness!…and death.
Ah, challenges are the sweet pieces of life which make this world interesting. And as I come to terms with the reality of my character, I have decided being Eponine is way more fun. I also get the big, show-stopping solo, and I’d rather have that, than a duet. The mystery and adventure of wondering where he is or what he’s doing is always exciting as I crawl into bed dreaming of the day we’ll meet. I believe Eponine did the same before she died. Only she knew where her man was, he was just off doing it with Cosette. Tough luck. But that’s the fun of it.
Who are you? Are you Cosette with no problems in getting your guy? Or are you Eponine, always dreaming?
* PS-For those of you who don’t know these two lovely ladies, they are the leading women from the musical, Les Miserables. Eponine gets killed with a gun shot wound in the gut as Cosette gets the man of Eponine’s dreams and lives happily ever after.